The book, “Return on Character,” says it can. And its author, the academic and consultant Fred Kiel, has found a way to calculate the impact of a leader’s character on the financial performance of their company. His research team carried out a seven-year study into this topic and the results are fascinating.

Everyday Character at Work

Imagine… You sense a warm, positive buzz in a certain café, where the baristas are relaxed, good humored, and attentive. Then you meet the manager and – surprise! – she exudes a warm, friendly calm. She involves her team in decision making and she respects their skills and experience. Meanwhile, in the store next door, resentful employees listlessly stack shelves, under the steely eye of their grumpy boss.

But is this just about personalities? When I met Kiel to record my Mind Tools Expert Interview podcast, I began with the basics. What does a leader of good character look like?

Members of the Mind Tools Club can hear the full interview. If you’re not already signed up, read on here for a taster…

What Is Good Character?

Fred Kiel asserts that a leader of good character tells the truth. Further, “They keep their promises. They stand up for what’s right, and then they have a certain humility about them, where they own up to their own mistakes and accept the consequences.

“They tend to look first at what they did wrong, rather than what other people did wrong, and when other people make mistakes they tend to be curious rather than blaming and shaming. And then they treat you as a human being and not as an object.”

In his groundbreaking study, Kiel set out to put a hard value on those admirable traits. The first step was to ask the 84 CEOs participating in the study to rate themselves against four defining characteristics: integrity, compassion, forgiveness, and responsibility. Then their employees were asked to rate these leaders against the same characteristics, to provide objectivity and perspective.

Character Study

From this data, the CEOs were given scores relating to their leadership behavior. The most highly principled leaders were labeled “virtuoso CEOs,” while those at the other end of the spectrum were called “self-focused CEOs.”

The research team then cross-referenced these character scores with the financial results of the leaders’ companies. It discovered that the virtuoso CEOs achieved nearly five times greater return on assets than their low-ranking counterparts.

An Invitation to Change

It’s a remarkable finding, but what can we do with this information, given that leopards don’t change their spots? Once a self-focused CEO, always a self-focused CEO, right? Wrong, says Kiel. It may not be easy, but leaders can move from one end of the spectrum to the other.

In “Return on Character,” Kiel outlines this process of personal change. He sees it as a six-part journey, starting with “invitations to change.” As an example of this step, he talks about a young executive who effortlessly rose through the ranks of a company and assumed he was next in line to be named president of a major business unit.

“His invitation for change, or wake-up call, came when the CEO invited him into his office. He came in expecting to get the good news and instead he was told, ‘I’m sorry, but I’m not giving you this job. I’m giving it to your peer instead.’ And that was a very traumatic event for him because he’d never had a failure experience to deal with before. So that became a real invitation for him to change.”

The other five steps to becoming a virtuoso leader require just as much humility and self-awareness, with the final one, “rewire your brain,” designed to cement new good habits through focus and practice.

Completing all six steps in this process is a major undertaking, but no doubt worth it, on a personal and organizational level, for under-performing leaders.

What about those leaders who don’t need, or want, to undergo large-scale personal change, but would still like to maximize their return on character? Kiel offers some useful tips in this audio clip from our Expert Interview podcast.

Listen to the full Expert Interview in the Mind Tools Club, or get a license for your organization through Mind Tools for Business.

So, Does Honesty Pay?

“Return on Character” is an absorbing read that shows leadership behavior can be linked to business results. Senior executives may well benefit from taking these ideas on board. But even if we’re not in charge of our company’s financial performance, we can still learn from the basic principle: it pays, literally, to be honest, compassionate and responsible.

What would you do to improve return on character, for yourself or your organization? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

The post Good Character in Business: My Interview With Fred Kiel appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.

Productivity research shows that workers are most productive in the autumn, once they’re back from their summer vacation. But what about right now? What better time is there to set some goals to motivate yourself and your team?

Organizations can take a fresh look at defining their objectives and breaking down how they’ll achieve them. Meanwhile, employees can set individual targets for what they want or need to get done over the next stretch of time.

Goals are a great way to measure progress, define priorities, and expand a knowledge area or skill you’re passionate about. But it’s so easy to think about what we want to achieve in ambitious, nebulous terms rather than defining the specifics. How do we set goals that matter? How can we make sure that we achieve what we set out to do?

Here are some ways to energize yourself and your team by setting SMART goals.

SMART Goals Examples

George T. Doran pioneered the SMART goal setting approach in 1981. SMART can stand for a few slightly different sets of words, but Mind Tools uses the primary terms outlined below. Our SMART Goals article has more advice on this type of goal setting.

In short, SMART goals are concrete objectives that make sense in your real-life context. So how can we use them today?

The specific aspect of the SMART framework is about being detailed. Rather than aiming to “write some blog posts” this quarter, I might set a goal detailing the blog posts I’ll write, what they’ll focus on, and where and when they’ll be posted.

Setting a measurable goal involves putting a number to your goal. How many blog posts will I write? What dates and deadlines am I aiming for?

An achievable goal must be something within your capacity to do, taking scope, resources and abilities into account. Let’s say I want to create video content but have never done so before. I might need training before putting a video together, and I’ll likely not be starting with an hour-long montage!

Relevant goals are ones that matter to you and connect to your context. I might want to learn line dancing, but that’s unlikely to be an appropriate goal for my job. A more relevant goal might relate to my organization’s overall objectives.

Time-bound goals, like measurable ones, take numbers into account. In this case, it’s the timeline and a clear end date. Quarterly goals are one example of this, as they’re typically accomplished within a set amount of time (the quarter).

Along with making sure that my goals are SMART, I’ve found that the following considerations are also important when setting goals at work.

Balancing Business and Personal Development

When setting your own goals within an organization, consider both your own development and the company’s overall aims. What do you want to learn? On the other hand, what does the organization (or your team) aim to achieve? What skills can you offer to help them do this? Seek out overlaps between the two lists – between what you want and what the organization wants.

Some organizations differentiate between goals related to personal development, such as learning to use a new form of software, and individual goals related to company aims, such as helping to make sales or create new products. When setting your own goals, try to address both domains. It’s important both to support your team and to continue growing and learning.

Sense Check

When setting goals, it helps to bounce ideas off others who know you well. You might discuss goals with your team or manager before finalizing them. Other people offer fresh ideas and a reality check when needed.

Some goal-setting processes have feedback baked in. But if your process is more solitary, try seeking out others to collaborate with and learn from.

Wishing you the best of luck with your goal setting!

What SMART goals will help to re-energize you? What else can you do to get over the mid-year motivation slump? Share your ideas in the comments below!

The post Using SMART Goals to Re-Energize Yourself appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

Observation. Judgment. Feedback.

Three separate words with three separate meanings. Yet the more I contemplate these words, the more I realize how inter-related they really are and, more importantly, how confusing they can be in a workplace context.

As I’ve progressed through my career and taken on different management roles, I’ve been given some interesting advice about observation, judgment, and feedback which I’ve been reflecting on. I wonder if you have received similar advice and whether you feel it has served you well – or if perhaps it’s time to reject it?

Making Feedback Meaningful

To begin with, I was advised that, to give people meaningful feedback, I should try to observe them firsthand, rather than relying on what other people may tell me about their performance.

By observing what they do and how they do it for myself, I’d be able to “own” any feedback that I give. As well as this, I learned I should adopt the mindset of trying to “catch people doing the right thing,” rather than trying to catch them out. So far, so good.

Reserving Judgment

Another piece of advice I’m always given is to ensure that feedback is “non-judgmental.” In other words, to observe behavior and performance without labelling it as “good” or “bad,” “right” or “wrong.”

Instead, to feed back what I observed and, then – through open discussion – allow the person being observed to make their own sense of these observations and come to their own conclusions about what, if anything, they’d like to change.

I’ve found this approach to be highly effective in achieving behavioral change. So long as the way the feedback is given allows a safe space for reflection and personal development.

The Feedback Sandwich

The advice I hear most often is to use the “feedback sandwich” in performance-related conversations. Essentially, this is when you sandwich any negative observations between two pieces of positive ones.

The reasons given for this approach vary. Most notably that it’s best to start the discussion on a positive note to help put the person at ease, before raising the trickier issue of any poor performance. Then ending on a “feel-good” note so the person doesn’t go away feeling upset or demotivated. This advice I take great exception to, but I’ll come back to that later.

Great Feedback Can be Transformational

I don’t think many would argue with the fact that, as a manager or team member, you need to give and receive feedback that’s timely, of good quality, and engaging. But giving the right amount, in the right way, at the right time can be challenging. Yet, done well, it can be absolutely transformational.

Think of a time when you received feedback that created real impact for you. What was it that made it stand out? Did it open your eyes to something you’d not noticed or were unaware of, thereby allowing you to develop your skills in a targeted way? Or was it delivered ineffectively, insensitively, or with bad intentions? In either case, I’m certain you’ll remember how it made you feel.

To my mind, good feedback needs to:

• Be timely.
• Be specific.
• Encourage self-awareness.
• Build insight.
• Be descriptive, rather than evaluative.
• Be constructive.
• Focus on areas of improvement.
• Be practical.
• Be necessary.
• Be helpful.
• Be kind.

How Does Feedback Relate to Observation and Judgment?

And this brings me to my contemplation about feedback, and how it relates to observation and judgment.

Observation can be described as watching in order to carry out a detailed examination of something, before analysis, diagnosis, or interpretation. Other words often associated with observation include reviewing, noticing, monitoring, considering, inspection, and scrutiny.

Judgment can be described as an opinion or estimate formed by examining and comparing, or the ability to make considered decisions and come to sensible conclusions. Words associated with judgment also include perception, reason, and shrewdness.

Feedback, in the context of the workplace, is usually described as a tool that can help people evaluate themselves and their work by hearing how others perceive them. In other words, it’s “part and parcel” of managing people and teams, and usually forms part of a performance management approach.

Getting the Balance Right Can Be Tricky

But getting the balance of feedback, observation and judgment right is tricky…

• I should observe non-judgmentally, yet elements of observing require me to review, monitor and scrutinize, all of which require some element of judgment.

• How do I know what I should feed back based on my observations without applying some element of perception and reason (i.e. judgment)?

• How can I give feedback on how someone is doing in their job or how well their behaviors align to company values, without making some judgment about their performance and how it matches up to what’s required?

Well, here’s what I’ve concluded…

People respond well to kind, helpful and well-intentioned feedback, be it developmental and designed to help them build their competence, or motivational and designed to build their confidence. It can be a powerful tool to focus activity and effort, and enhance performance. It’s also an opportunity to provide support and empower people. And to make sure that they feel equipped and happy to carry out their jobs effectively.

Observation is impactful, but I am not convinced feedback can or should always be without judgment. We’re all human and we arguably make judgments all the time, whether we’re conscious of it or not. The way I approach things is to be as objective as possible and consciously reserve judgment where it’s not appropriate. Instead, I try to keep the focus on the individual and what will be most helpful to them.

Oh, and about that “feedback sandwich.” That’s never the way to do it. Be honest, respectful, engaging, focused, and sensitive – no sandwiches required!

Observation, Judgment and Feedback

During Friday’s #MTtalk Twitter chat, we discussed the roles of observation, judgment and feedback. Here are all the questions we asked, and some of the best responses:

Q1. We observe people all the time. Can we be unbiased when doing so? How?

@eriphar It would be difficult to be unbiased as we subconsciously project our experiences and value systems. It’s through observation and analysis that we remove the biases.

@ColfaxInsurance I think we can! It’s a matter of training yourself to look and react without bias – understanding that everyone has their own hidden struggles they’re dealing with, etc.

Q2. What’s the difference between observation and judgment?

@SarahH_MT Observation involves collecting information; seeing and hearing what is being said and done. Judgment implies I am putting that observation through my own belief filter to come to my own conclusion about what I have seen.

@Mind_Tools Observation: looking or watching to gather information and facts. Judgment: forming an opinion or making a decision after you’ve thought about something. (It doesn’t mean that the thought process was unbiased or correct.)

Q3. Why do you think some people feel judged when you share what you’ve observed?

@SoniaH_MT Some people feel judged when sharing what we’ve observed because they are accustomed to receiving non-constructive criticism. Conversely, they feel judged because the respondent is including an opinion instead of just facts of what they saw.

@ZalaB_MT I think it goes back to insecurities and past experiences we’ve had/shared. When you feel like you can’t be your self, fully and accepted as that, you can get the feeling of rejection, judgment and not being understood – accepted.

Q4. Why and how do you transition from observing to providing feedback?

@karisalowelim Depends on the context. As a manager, I owe employees constructive feedback but as a friend or something else personal, it’s a situational decision.

@MikeB_MT I feel like I need to provide obvious cues that I am listening and trying to be constructive and helpful. Ask lots of questions. Make sure your non-verbals reinforce your intentions. Be clear about your goals for providing feedback and how you hope to help.

Q5. What’s the difference between providing feedback and being judgmental?

@Yolande_MT Feedback: sharing an observation with the purpose of making things better and/or raising awareness. Being judgmental: sharing an observation with the purpose of shaming, blaming and labelling. It’s designed to make another feel bad so you can feel better/more righteous.

@_GT_Coaching Feedback could be considered an assessment of what is, rather than judging what should be. However, there may still be judgment in feedback depending on the sender and the receiver.

Q6. Have you received badly delivered or judgmental feedback? What was the impact?

@GThakorre I lost my spirit temporarily. The impact is always negative.

@ZalaB_MT As I’ve mentioned a few times, my corporate times of receiving feedback were a nightmare. Paired with narcissistic leaders, it was more about the power-play and who will cave it earliest. It thought me to take it all with a grain of salt, and not personally.

Q7. How do you effectively provide feedback to a colleague, team member or supervisor?

@JulieHongNimble Be mindful of their feelings and how helpful your words will be to actually ignite improvement and change. I also try to stay aware of my tone, I like to keep it light because sometimes it’s not what we say, it’s how we say it.

@MarkC_Avgi Very carefully! In many ways, it is important to understand the ability or willingness of the individual to receive and accept feedback. Some people you can be fairly direct with and, with others, being direct will simply offend and hurt feelings.

Q8. When might giving feedback be a bad idea?

@Midgie_MT When the person is [in] an emotionally fragile state (upset or angry). I would wait until they had “calmed down” and could hear the feedback and actually take it in.

@DrSupriya_MT Giving feedback at a time when person is sad, tired or even hungry! The right set of mindset increases receptivity.

Q9. What has stopped you from giving feedback to someone who needed it?

@MikeB_MT The person may be in crisis. I may observe that they are already judging themselves or feel judged by others. In those cases, it’s important to be present. Again, lots of listening. Otherwise, your feedback may be taken as another judgment against them.

@JennaDrei Something that has stopped me from giving feedback to someone who needs it, is the relationship I have with them. Having credibility before giving feedback creates an environment of trust and helpfulness.

Q10. What would you advise someone worried about observation, judgment and feedback?

@Dwyka_Consult Talk with your mind, but through your heart. Observe with eyes of kindness. Don’t “dump” on a person if you don’t want them to feel like a dumpster.

@DrKashmirM Do not waste your energy on people over whom you have no control. Worrying about others is like controlling others in a play or drama, concentrate only on your dialogues in “drama of world.”

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat over here.

Coming Up

Have you sometimes given feedback but exaggerated just a tiny bit? Next time on #MTtalk we’re going to discuss exaggeration and when we use it. In our Twitter poll this week, we’d like to know what you think about exaggeration.

Resources

Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources, below, in full.

Collaborative Feedback

The Johari Window

Unfair Criticism

Managing Overconfident People

Standing Up for Your People

Getting Feedback

How to Deliver On-the-Spot Feedback

How to Be Tactful

Giving Feedback

The COIN Conversation Model

How Good Is Your Feedback?

The post Observation, Judgment and Feedback – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.

I was reminded of this recently during a parents’ evening at my children’s school. Both of them – I’m pleased to say – are bright, happy kids. But a discussion about other kids who compete with each other to be “the best” brought that quote to mind.

What exactly did “being the best” mean, I wondered. It sounds noble enough, but did I want my children to join in? And thinking of that old quote, why might “being unique” trump “being the best?”

I thought about it some more and remembered what my dad used to say when I was a kid. “Just try your hardest,” he would tell me. “I don’t mind if you’re not the best; just try hard and be yourself.” Nobody’s word carried more weight than my father’s did back then. And if being myself was more important to him than being the best, then I was ready to listen.

Racing to the Bottom Is Not Unique

I realized that the tussle at school to become numero uno was probably destructive and self-defeating. OK, so whoever emerged on top might have their podium moment, but at what cost? How many playground friendships might unravel? How many tender souls might end up nursing battered egos?

Instead of being, as at first it appeared to be, a competition to reach the top, these schoolyard shenanigans were actually a race to the bottom. Kids were competing by matching each other’s moves – copying notes, drawings, language, and even looks.

Any time someone arrived with a new hairstyle, the latest sneakers, or a fancy pencil case, their classmates would imitate them to gain an advantage. This most innocent of environments was becoming a dog-eat-dog world. Kids were competing to be the best by being the same.

Michael Porter in Pictures

All this was fresh in my mind when I read the excellent “What Is Strategy? An Illustrated Guide to Michael Porter,” by Joan Magretta and Emile Holmewood.

It’s a graphic novel – essentially, a short book in which text, illustrations, speech bubbles, and commentary panels interplay in a kind of storyboard format. And at first glance it does seems like an awkward marriage of business and children’s publishing.

The book’s theme and cartoon animals seem unlikely bedfellows. But it’s actually a fantastically accessible introduction to the fundamentals of strategy.

Read on, and you’ll pick up takeaways from the mind of world-renowned strategist, Michael Porter, famous for his Five Forces Model. One such takeaway is the importance of adopting the right mindset. This sounds a little woolly but it’s a foundation for the more theoretical stuff that comes later.

Think of the outlook that your favorite team carries onto the field with them. Whatever the sport, players set out to be “the best.” They have to, it’s the only way to win.

Compare that to your favorite musician, dancer, or comedian. People in the performing arts don’t reach the top of the tree by crushing the opposition. They do it by being creative, by developing unique identities and approaches to what they do.

No two bands sound exactly alike (even the dodgy tribute acts) and no two singers have the same voice. Each actor, each circus performer, each magician can develop an audience and successfully create unique value for their customers. This generates a self-sustaining, flourishing field in which everyone can win.

Best vs. Unique

The sports analogy reflects what goes on in my kids’ school – the trap of competing to “be the best.” It might work on the soccer pitch but it doesn’t work in the classroom, and it doesn’t work in business either.

It’s the second approach – the creative, “performing arts” mindset – that pays dividends, both at school and in the world of work.

Not adopting it means making what Porter calls “the worst error in strategy” – that is, competing with your rivals within the same dimensions.

Playing by Your Own Rules

I’m happy to say that my kids stand slightly apart from these playground tussles. They’re part of the crowd but don’t jockey for position within it, and they’re confident enough in themselves to play by their own rules.

That both my kids are as stubbornly independent as they are sometimes drives me to distraction. But it also makes me very proud.

Every so often, they tell me about a classmate who leaves the competitive mêlée to sidle up to them when there’s work to be done. All will get on and do what they each want to do and resist the urge to instigate an imitation game or a bout of one-upmanship. Maybe they’re learning that there’s a better way. Maybe the right mindset is spreading.

Download Our “What Is Strategy?” Book Insight

We review the best new business books and the tested classics in our monthly Book Insights, available as text or as 15-minute audio downloads.

So, if you’re a Mind Tools Premium Club member or corporate user, download or stream the “What Is Strategy?” Book Insight review now.

If you haven’t already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including 390+ Book Insights. For corporate licencing, ask for a demo with one of our team.

What’s your strategy mindset? Join the discussion below and let us know!

The post What Would Michael Porter Say – Be the Best or Be Unique? appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.

Last year, a quarter of Americans reported feeling loneliness for much of their day. And now, while many offices have reopened in the wake of the pandemic, working from home is still the norm for most of us who are able to work remotely. This means we’re missing out on valuable watercooler chats in the office, carpooling with old friends, and meeting new co-workers in person. Working from home certainly has its perks, but it sure can be lonely.

It’s no surprise, then, that the theme for this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week in the U.K. (coinciding with Mental Health Awareness Month in the U.S.) is loneliness.

Effects of Loneliness

Loneliness can have a hugely negative impact on our lives, at home and at work. It’s one of the HALT Risk States, meaning it can undermine your performance and trigger self-sabotage.

Prolonged loneliness will take its toll on your mental health and can lead to depression, anxiety and increased stress. It can even harm your physical health, too. And it’s a vicious cycle – feeling lonely can further isolate someone because of the stigma attached to it.

But one country that seems to have banished workplace loneliness is Sweden. How? With a tasty tradition called fika.

What Is Fika?

You’ve probably heard of “fika” before, as multiple café chains use it in their names.

Fika is defined as “a break from activity during which people drink coffee, eat cakes or other light snacks, and relax with others.” (Oxford English Dictionary)

Introduced in the 1900s, fika is a deeply rooted tradition in Sweden. So much so that many Swedish firms now have mandatory fika breaks. It allows workers to slow down and socialize. Fika breaks usually take place at 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. in the workplace, but Swedes also take them out of office hours. They consider it an important and beneficial part of their daily lives.

And the proof is in the pudding! Swedish workers are some of the least stressed and most productive in the world. Many believe that this is thanks to the country’s fika tradition.

So how can we take inspiration from Sweden?

How to Deal With Loneliness

Here are some ways that fika can inspire us to combat loneliness, whether working remotely or in the office.

Coffee Buddies

When lockdown forced us to close the office and start working from home, I was anxious about the change. I’m a creature of habit and had grown fond of the office and, even more so, the office dogs. A few weeks will be fine, I thought. But once it became clear that the Coronavirus wasn’t going to “blow over in a couple weeks,” and that working from home would be the new normal, I worried for my working relationships and feared missing out on news from other teams. Like everyone else, I soon started to miss my friends and co-workers (and the office dogs, of course!) and loneliness became my housemate.

My employer responded well to the pandemic, and set up a “coffee buddies” program. Each fortnight, I would be paired with someone else from the company and we would be prompted to set up a virtual meeting to have a chat and get to know one another. There was no time limit, so we could go at our own pace and enjoy the virtual company. I loved meeting colleagues new and old, and it certainly made me feel less lonely in lockdown.

Create a Culture of Connecting

There are lots of other initiatives that workplaces can instill to build a connected company culture and keep employee loneliness at bay. For example, why not start a chess tournament or book club?

These can easily be set up online or in the office, and allow you and your co-workers to learn a new skill, or spend time doing what you love. And it helps the business – employees who play hard, work hard.

Practice Random Acts of Kindness

It has been found time and time again that being kind makes us happier.

So, if you suspect someone might be suffering from loneliness, invite them to a fika break! A quick check-in that they’re OK will defend you from loneliness, too. Or, could you try volunteering in your local community? This gives you the chance to meet new people, and boost your self-esteem.

A little kindness goes a long way – for everyone.

Get Comfortable Being Alone

In Sweden, it would be frowned upon to decline a fika invitation without a good reason. But socializing should be done on your own terms. A coffee break with a colleague isn’t the perfect solution to everyone’s loneliness, after all. However, fika is as much about taking the time to slow down as it is about socializing.

It may sound counterintuitive to embrace being alone when you experience loneliness, but it can be empowering. I’ve enjoyed trips to the cinema, dinners out, and even holidays alone before. And I think they made me more resilient to lockdown loneliness.

By choosing to spend some time alone, you protect yourself from burnout and hurry sickness. It allows time for reflection and rest. I think often we’re afraid of solitude, but it can be nice in small doses.

Final Thoughts on Fika

It’s important that employees feel able to take the time out of their working day to build connections. Building relationships with co-workers will not only improve employee well-being, but it will also help to break down silos and enhance collaboration.

I hope other workplaces can take inspiration from Sweden and encourage their teams to slow down and connect with one another this Mental Health Awareness Week.

So what are you waiting for? Grab a coffee, a cake and a willing colleague!

The post Beating Loneliness With Fika: Sweden’s Fix for Happier Workforces appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.

Where did I belong? Growing up, I got good grades and didn’t cause trouble. Like 90 percent of the students, I didn’t drive to school, I rode the yellow school bus. I was not part of the “in” crowd, cliques or “cool” kids.

Neither was I one of the kids who wore spiked hair and chains, or embraced the goth look. I did not become a teenage parent.

Outsider, Not an Outcast

Though I didn’t share this with others, I know I said to myself that I wanted to fit in sometimes. It was more that I wanted to stand out less while following an archaic church rule limiting my clothing options. The kids just accepted this “religious” restriction and didn’t tease me.

Now that I’m an adult, I believe my actual desire was to belong. If I had been able to participate in more social activities with my peers, the opportunity might have been there.

“The new dawn blooms as we free it. For there is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it.”

Amanda Gorman (U.S. National Youth Poet Laureate and activist)

The third level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs discusses the need for belonging. Once we reach this level as human beings, we start focusing externally and addressing our needs with others – including the need to “be part of something.”

Where Do I Belong?

I was in age-appropriate clubs and choirs at school and church in my teenage years. I belonged to those groups, so I paid my monthly dues. I chose those groups because I enjoyed learning about computers, singing, competing in mock trial, and performing community service.

Since I was active in clubs and organizations in high school, I looked forward to finding something at college. During my first year, I attended the “First Look Fair,” the Fall outdoor exhibit where students could learn about campus clubs and organizations at a one-stop shop.

Tables and chairs lined the sidewalks of McKeldin Mall, a beautiful, grassy quad at the center of the campus with diagonal sidewalks. I walked up and down the many aisles, collecting handouts, playing table-attracting games, and left my contact details to get more information for several student groups.

I Found Where I Belong

My freshman and sophomore terms were part-time, so my whole college experience was nine years instead of four or five. Since I worked part-time and lived off-campus, I could occasionally participate in a few extra-curricular campus activities. Later, as a full-time student, I was able to spend more time on or near campus.

My university had a student organization for practically everything from A to Z: cultural, academic, religious, sports, hobbies, and more! One group I joined was an advocate for commuting students. Other organizations I joined were business-related or cultural.

When considering a sorority, the only one that resonated with me was the one I’d never heard of, Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. The colors also grabbed my attention, so I headed for their table to speak with members about the organization. They invited me to other events, and I joined their interest group.

As the eldest of three children, it felt good to interact with women who would become my big sisters one day. It felt right being there as I was. I didn’t have to change my personality, and they didn’t suggest that I should.

Before joining, I noticed that people treated members of fraternities and sororities more favorably. I was not a member of the largest sorority chapter on campus, but I enjoyed moving up the “social ladder of respect” by being an active member of a Greek-lettered organization!

I also had to work mindfully to maintain my identity as “Sonia,” so that non-members wouldn’t only refer to me as “the SGRho.”

If I had joined a different sorority under our national umbrella organization, I would have had to downplay or chip away parts of myself to be accepted. A 5cm circle will fit perfectly into a 5cm square, but not the other way around.

Belonging Vs. Fitting In

During our recent #MTtalk Twitter chat, we discussed the difference between fitting in and belonging. Here are the questions we asked, and a selection of the responses, including some of my own:

Q1. Why do we have a need to fit in? Are all of us insecure?

@Mind_Tools We try to fit in because we don’t want to feel “left out.” We want to feel socially accepted.

@SarahH_MT Needing to belong is a deep-rooted human need that goes back to our early days and our innate drive to survive. We might not consciously feel insecure but the need for security with others is embedded in our unconscious.

@HloniphileDlam7 Life is about interconnections. If that is broken at any point, life becomes kind of meaningless. Isolation breeds insecurities.

Q2. What are some of the things people do to fit in?

@ZalkaB I think there are many different ways that people manifest/demonstrate that. What I find disheartening is when people trying to fit in lose their sense of selves, self-respect, roots, origins, and even feel the need to deny their identities.

@SoniaH_MT Some things people do to fit in (and gain acceptance) include: purchasing new clothes, offering to pay for a group meal, drinking or smoking when they normally wouldn’t, and adjusting their accent, dialect, or language.

Q3. Do you remember a time when you desperately tried to fit in, but just couldn’t? Why didn’t you fit in?

@Yolande_MT I found it hard to fit in at a workplace where foul language, drinking and dishonesty were the order of the day. I tried fitting in without compromising my values. It didn’t work. I left after 3 months.

As a child I had to dress according to my parents’ religion and I wasn’t allowed to go to school dances, movie theatres, play sport etc. It’s difficult to fit in when you’re set up to be a social outcast.

@SoniaH_MT No, I don’t desperately try fitting in anywhere. I probably could’ve played on my high school softball team but I didn’t entertain the option of trying out, due to not wanting to explain or adhere to an archaic (and really inapplicable) “religious” limitation.

If I were going to stand out on my team, I would’ve preferred that it be for my talent, not what I was wearing. I wouldn’t have needed that extra and unnecessary attention (and distraction).

Q4. Have you ever tried to fit in only to realize this was a mistake? What happened?

@SarahH_MT There was one organization where I tried so hard to deliver exactly what the CEO wanted and I compromised what I thought was right to please him. He rejected my work and I was devastated. I later realized I should have stuck to my values and principles.

@Dwyka_Consult I tried very hard to fit in with other students when I first went to university. I realized that it was a mistake when I literally had to escape from a drunken student’s apartment. I just didn’t have the street smarts I needed – and it made me a target.

Q5. What’s the difference between fitting in and belonging?

@MikeB_MT When I fit in, I have a place. When I belong, I’ve found my place. Belonging is more of a holistic feeling.

@ThiamMeka2Gogue Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else.

Q6. Why is it important to feel you belong rather than just fit in?

@AnuMeera2024 Belonging is “to be.” It’s natural, effortless and fulfilling – not necessarily with some agenda behind it. Fitting in is [to] act with some effort and some agenda, even if it is simply to find acceptance with your friends or colleagues.

@Yolande_MT Fitting in takes a lot of work and energy. Belonging allows you to spend that same work and energy on things that matter.

Q7. Are there places/teams/situations where you fit in, but prefer not to belong? Please explain.

@Midgie_MT I can think of one workplace where I wanted to keep my personal distance from people. Although I fit in with the team and others, I had a “fear” that any personal information might be used against me. So I refrained from connecting.

@Mind_Tools In a workplace, you might fit in because of a certain skill set or affiliation, but you don’t want/need a deeper connection than that.

Q8. Which factors most help people to feel that they belong when working online?

@JKatzaman People online feel they belong when they engage and find mutual respect.

@Mind_Tools If you show a genuine interest in people and actively reach out to them (rather than just reach out because work requires it) it can help them feel they belong.

Q9. What can you do within yourself to help feel you belong?

@MikeB_MT Having a strong sense of self and continually working on this. Identifying goals and the realities of where you are and where you want to be. Being awake and available to people around you who may want to help or may need your help in belonging.

@ZalkaB Be open and honest with yourself about your values and beliefs. Invest yourself and your energy where it aligns with your convictions, your energy, and your whole self. And trust your gut feelings. I think with belonging, it needs to resonate with us on many different levels.

Q10. What would you want a team or organization to do to help you and others feel you belong there?

@MarkC_Avgi A team or organization must not only tell you that you are welcome and belong there but show you through their actions that you are welcome, valued and respected for who you are, as a person, not just as someone they work with.

@Midgie_MT Make space to just listen to each other. Make space to review corporate values, objectives and goals.

To read all the tweets, see the Wakelet collection of this chat here.

Coming Up in Our Next #MTtalk

Whether you feel you fit in or truly belong in a workplace may have an impact on the way you perceive feedback. In our Twitter poll this week, we’d like to know how you generally feel about the feedback you receive at work.

Useful Resources About Belonging Vs. Fitting In

To help you think more about belonging vs. fitting in, we’ve compiled a list of resources for you to browse. (Please note, to see some of these resources in full, you need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member.)

What Are Cultural Fit and Cultural Add?

Successful Inductions

Job Crafting

Impostor Syndrome

Belbin’s Team Roles

Team Charters

The post Belonging Vs. Fitting In – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.

No way would I book myself up again like I used to. After all, I’d grown to secretly love this new space to breathe, to step off life’s merry-go-round and stop a while. To watch it all go by.

My Changing Social Habits

Fast forward two years, am I out any less? Am I any less busy? Hmmm, slightly, I would say. But I do love going out so “slightly less” is still a lot.

These days, though, I’m more inclined to act when I find myself thinking, “You know what? It’s been great, really it has, but now I want to go home and put the kettle on. Flick on a movie, a little chewing gum for the mind. Stretch out, kick back, and relax.”

To be honest, I definitely feel happier leaving social events when I want to and having more time in between them. And as it turns out, I love those things more because I’m not so socially drained.

I didn’t know what I was doing had a name – that I was, in fact, looking after my “social battery.”

Discovering My Social Battery

It was my 18-year-old daughter who first brought it to my attention, saying she didn’t have the “social battery” for a friend’s party. That stopped me in my tracks for two reasons. First off, you’re not going to a party! And secondly, er, social battery? Run that by me again!

“Social battery” is a metaphor for a person’s capacity to intermingle with groups of people in one setting. And it’s often used by introverted people to describe their anxiety at having to interact with large groups.

When your social battery is starting to drain, at work or in social situations, it gives off plenty of signals. Research suggests that most people start to feel social fatigue after around three hours.

Low Battery

I asked my colleagues for their insights and experience in maintaining their social batteries.

Mind Tools writer and editor Melanie Bell said, “Tiredness, difficulty paying attention to conversation, irritability. Any of these is often a sign that I need a break. It might be time to leave the situation or, if not possible, to step out for a bit. It could also be a sign that the group/activity isn’t a good fit for me.”

Content editor Alice Gledhill recognized those feelings too. She said, “I know my social battery is running low when I start to feel tired or grumpy, and when I stop participating or talking as much in a group.”

Fellow content editor Matthew Hughes has found his capacity for socializing isn’t what it was since COVID-19 hit.

“If I’m suddenly tired or not taking things in, or I’m blathering on, then I know the battery is low!” said Matthew. “And post-lockdown, I’ve found my social battery is significantly less long-lasting than before the pandemic. I get tired out faster than before in social situations, and it’s going to take time to get that battery back to full capacity.”

“So while I try to make sure I’m getting time alone and not overdoing it, I’m aware I need to keep socializing and exercising that muscle!”

Signs of Social Burnout

Low social battery is akin to burnout, which is something many of us are all too familiar with. But still, the warning signs aren’t always recognized or heeded. Here are some common signs of burnout to watch out for:

1. Pulling away emotionally from your colleagues or friends.
2. Inability to focus.
3. Experiencing physical complaints such as headaches, illness, or backache.
4. Low energy or fatigue.
5. Trouble sleeping.
6. Being irritated easily by other people.
7. Having a negative and critical attitude.

These are the signs, but what can be done to cope with them?

One thing that can really help when you feel overwhelmed by your social engagements is to manage your boundaries. As my daughter reminded me, “We all have the right to protect our social battery without feeling guilty about it.”

And there are many benefits to protecting your boundaries. As neuroscientist Simon Spichak points out, “You need to take breaks when you’re tired to refuel and refocus. That means the next time you meet up with someone, you will be present and thoughtful – instead of counting down until you leave.”

Protecting Your Battery

Mind Tools Managing Editor Charlie Swift is still finding post-pandemic socializing tricky.

He said, “The joy I feel when I do now mix, points to having missed out – and what I’ve learned in the meantime is that I don’t need to please everyone else so much! The point is connection and enjoyment, not exhaustion or duty.”

Alice makes a conscious effort to manage her time. She said,  “I love doing things on my own, at my own pace. Especially in the evenings when I want to wind down. So having a bit of time away from friends/family after a busy day/weekend together is important to me. It helps me to recharge.”

“On the flip side, I love being spontaneous and meeting up with a friend last minute,” Alice continued. “If my social battery is unexpectedly full then I like to take advantage of that!”

For Melanie, it’s all about proper scheduling. She said, “I’m similarly busy than before COVID, but I’m more aware of needing to be selective with social engagements and I choose those that are good fits.”

“In between, I make sure I get some ‘alone time’ and rest. That means I can connect with others and build relationships – rather than getting burned out!”

Giving “social battery” a name has made me aware of it. So I now think more about what I’m doing than I did previously. And I love do-nothing days, which I’m now taking more of. As any athlete knows, your rest days are just as vital as your training in the pursuit of peak performance.

Has your social battery been affected by the pandemic and lockdowns? How do you “recharge” your social battery? Let us know in the comments below.

The post How Do You Take Care of Your “Social Battery”? appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.

Psychological safety gives people the confidence to express their thoughts and admit mistakes, knowing that they won’t be shot down. But, in order to be successful, it also requires strong discipline and clear boundaries.

What Is Psychological Safety?

Amy Edmondson has studied psychological safety for more than 20 years, and has collected her findings into dozens of articles and books, including “Extreme Teaming,” and “The Fearless Organization.”

In my Expert Interview podcast, she explains to me: “It’s about being candid. And that means sometimes we’ll have to say things to each other that could feel harsh or could feel not nice.”

And that’s not all. “It’s also not a license to whine, or an invitation to sit back and just start saying everything that doesn’t work – and it’s most certainly not an invitation to relax, to lower the performance expectations,” she continues.

“It’s really just trying to recognize, and put a name on, the fact that if we aren’t open and candid and willing to take interpersonal risks, our organizations will face much bigger risks.”

In this clip from my Expert Interview podcast, she explains how, in a medical environment, psychological safety can be a matter of life and death.

More broadly, Edmondson argues that psychological safety is crucial for a successful work environment in any sector.

Psychological Safety for Learning, Innovation and Growth

And this is why psychological safety is so important. Increasingly, organizations need their people to be creative and knowledgeable, so that they can compete well in today’s complex markets. That means nurturing an environment where people feel like their voices matter and dynamic conversations can flourish.

According to Edmondson, you create that environment by inviting participation and neutralizing fear. Leaders need to tease out ideas and contributions from all team members. Even if they aren’t immediately useful, they might spark a conversation that leads to innovative ideas down the road.

Likewise, if something has gone wrong, people need to feel safe enough to raise it. That way you can deal with it quickly and minimize any damage.

But this freedom can only work if there are clear rules. This is where the boundaries come in.

Boundaries Bring Psychological Safety

“It’s almost paradoxical,” she says. “If people behave in ways that bully, if they yell at a colleague, if they belittle, if they harass, any of those things that are truly unacceptable behaviors at work, if those go unpunished or unacknowledged, ironically, you’ve made the workplace less safe, not more.”

This applies to failure too.

While she strongly promotes the idea that failure should be discussed (and learned from, where possible), Edmondson believes that failures caused by “blameworthy actions” should be condemned, with the perpetrators sanctioned and even fired if certain rules are breached.

Boundaries need to be clear and unambiguous. Edmondson gives the example of a team member who believes their boss only wants to hear good news. It’s not true, but it’s what they think and so they self-censor, “artificially setting the boundary far tighter than it needs to be.”

Whereas if their boss had been clear about their boundaries – they’re very happy to hear bad news, but prefer it to come with solutions – the team would function better.

Psychological Safety Enables Excellence

Edmondson points out that the responsibility for psychological safety rests mainly with managers.

They need to tell people what is and is not acceptable, and should invite everyone to speak up – “be proactive in inquiry,” as she puts it. Then they must listen properly, and respond in such a way that inflates rather than deflates motivation and productivity.

Ultimately, though, psychological safety is not the end goal, “even for me,” Edmondson reflects. Rather, “it’s a means to an end: the goal is excellence.”

“The goal is to have people feel great about what they do and to accomplish important work for their constituents. I’m just making the argument that that’s darn hard to do if they don’t have an environment of psychological safety.”

Listen to More of Amy Edmondson…

Mind Tools Club and corporate members can listen to the full 30-minute interview with Amy Edmondson.

If you’re not already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club now and gain access to 2,400+ resources, including 200+ Expert Interviews. For corporate membership, book a demo with one of our team.

… and Buy the Book

Get your own copy of “Extreme Teaming” from the Mind Tools Store.

How psychologically safe is your workplace? Join the discussion below!

The post Why Psychological Safety Matters: My Expert Interview With Amy Edmondson appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.

“The new dawn blooms as we free it. For there is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it.”

Amanda Gorman, National Youth Poet Laureate

Generally, we know the word “hope” as a feeling that things will work out or that an event or experience will turn out for the best. Many people characterize hope as an emotion.

Hope, the concept of having hope and living in hope are also strongly represented in most major religions and holy books. Many teach their followers that there is always hope and the possibility that things will change when you call on a higher power.

A Story of Hope

I love stories about people who have overcome adversity or, against the odds, survived life-threatening situations. The common thread that runs through all these stories, is hope.

Recently, I heard the story of four American rock-climbers – Tommy Caldwell, Beth Rodden, John Dickey, and Jason Smith – who were taken hostage in Kyrgyzstan in August 2000 while on a rock-climbing expedition.

During their six-day ordeal, the climbers thought during one incident, that soldiers from Uzbekistan saw them and their hostage-takers. Beth Rodden, only 20 at the time, was convinced that the soldiers had noticed her. She thought they’d realize that they were being held against their will, and would come and rescue them. That single moment gave Beth hope – and the strength to carry on when she was weak, dehydrated and numb with fear.

After the climbers had tried to plot an escape from their captors for days, two of the captors left to find food. Seizing the opportunity, Tommy Caldwell pushed the third captor off a cliff (he survived the fall), they escaped and were then rescued by Uzbek soldiers.

Our Relationship With Hope

During my post-graduate studies, I learned to use ecometric assessments as a diagnostic tool in therapy. Many people are familiar with psychometrics – the measure of personality for diagnostic purposes. Ecometrics has to do with the quantification of the degree of balance between people and their environment. It focuses on the way people adapt to their environments.

All elements in an ecometric assessment are measured on two levels: how a person feels about it on the inside, and what they display externally. One of the constructs we measure is the degree to which a person feels hopeful or hopeless, and how much it reflects in their behavior.

Balancing Hope and Hopelessness

Here’s the interesting thing: there needs to be a balance between the two. If hopefulness (positive expectation) is absent or very low, we know that a person is in danger of becoming depressed and/or experiencing feelings of despair.

However, if a person’s hopelessness (negative expectation) scale measures zero, it’s very likely that the person has unrealistic expectations or that they’ve disconnected from reality.

One part of the equation keeps us grounded, the other gives us buoyancy. In the case of the rock climbers, having hope kept them going. Not having an unrealistic hope that they’d escape unharmed while being guarded by three armed men with nothing to lose, kept them alive.

Defining Hope

I mentioned earlier that many people understand hope to be an emotion. But is it purely something we feel? Or does it perhaps equal actions driven by certain emotions?

The concepts of hope and forgiveness intrigued the positive psychologist, C. R. Snyder (1944–2006). He published numerous articles and six books about the impact hope has on people’s lives.

Snyder’s Hope Theory posits that hope consists of three parts, namely: goals, pathways, and agency. These parts all have one thing in common: an element of doing. Let me explain:

• Setting a goal means deciding (not wishing) to achieve a particular desired result within a certain time frame. It usually entails writing it down in detail, drawing up action plans and deciding how to measure your progress.
• Pathways refer to figuring out different ways to achieve your goals. This implies having a flexible mindset so that if one way doesn’t work, you’ll think of and develop an alternative way of reaching your goal.
• The ability to make choices that will help you to achieve your goals and feeling that you have control over your actions and their consequences, gives you agency.

Although this shows that hope is mostly a cognitive function, there is also a part of hope that can’t be boxed and labeled so neatly.

I’ve often described the intangible feeling of hope as “the champagne bubbles in my heart.” There’s nothing logical about that! That has, in part, been learned, and I’m probably also genetically programmed to be hopeful and optimistic.

The four rock climbers had to have had the feeling of hope. However, they did not sit back and just hope that a miracle would happen. They had a goal, pathways and agency – even in the face of a situation that they had little control over.

When and Why We Need Hope

In life, all of us will experience two types of events: situations we can control and situations we can’t. We mainly become acquainted with hope through adversity – we get to know it intimately when we struggle. But that doesn’t mean that it has no function in good times.

When things are easy and we feel in control, having hope increases our intrinsic motivation, enhances our performance, and helps us to view setbacks as temporary challenges, not permanent roadblocks. It also has a positive influence on our overall life satisfaction and general wellbeing.

Viktor E. Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor imprisoned in four different death camps, wrote about his relationships with hope in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning.”

One of the messages I took from this book is that in difficult and desperate times, you must find a) something to focus on that will help you feel purposeful and, b) something you can control. Having purpose gives you hope, and having hope increases your will to be purposeful and your ability to make meaning of what is happening to you.

If you don’t have hope in difficult times, there’s a real danger of moving into a zone of hopelessness, helplessness, and despair. If today is horrible and you believe that all your tomorrows will be the same as today, what’s the use of trying to think or do differently?

Hope will make you look for a way to overcome this despair and escape the bad situation you find yourself in. What, for example, would have happened to the four climbers if they sank into total despair and had no hope? Would they even have tried to make a plan?

Bad Hope

Hope is to the heart what oxygen is to the lungs, so how then can there be “bad” hope?

“Good” hope is a realistic feeling of belief and optimism. “Bad” hope is an unrealistic, broken crutch that supports magical thinking.

Giving another person false hope because you don’t want the truth to hurt them or giving yourself false hope by being in denial will only cause more hurt and confusion down the line.

In his book, Viktor Frankl wrote about prisoners who believed that the war would end at a certain date – without any logical reason or evidence. They gave themselves and others false hope. He witnessed, more than once, how the passing of these mystical dates and the continuation of war, caused some people to give up all hope and die within a few days.

Giving and Getting Hope

We give others hope by sharing the good parts and difficult parts of our own stories and how we overcame adversity. We gain hope by listening and understanding what’s possible for ourselves.

Offering your support and letting a person know they’re not alone is another way of giving hope. You gain it by showing vulnerability and allowing yourself to rely on others’ support.

Sometimes, simply holding space for someone and sitting with them in their pain, will give them hope. You can gain hope by accepting the connection and space that you’re being offered.

Giving hope can be taking one step at a time to achieve a goal. Gaining hope can be completing that next step you need to take to achieve your goal.

What Hope Means to Me

Hope is the first drops of rain on parched earth after a searing drought.

Hope is having a head full of ideas – it’s making plans, asking for help, learning new skills.

Hope is smiling through my tears.

Having Hope – Motivator, Comfort or Curse?

During Friday’s #MTtalk Twitter chat, we discussed how hope can make a positive or negative impact, depending on how you use it. Here are all the questions we asked, and some of the best responses:

Q1. What do you see in your mind’s eye when you hear the word “hope”?

@SoniaH_MT When I hear the word “hope”, my mind’s eye sees someone gazing up toward the clouds in a wishful manner.

@Midgie_MT I see smiling faces, twinkling eyes, sunshine and happy faces, or at least the anticipation of being happy.

Q2. How does hope motivate you?

@MindfulLifeWork Hope motivates me, as it inspires a vision of possibility… it acknowledges the truth that not all potentialities are actualized. When engaged with skillfully, hope for me is a call to action to get to work in the here and now.

@SarahH_MT Hope motivates me by keeping me in a positive frame of mind. Even in challenging times hope serves to remind me that “this too will pass.”

Q3. How does hope comfort you?

@CaptRajeshwar It’s like a farmer in the desert after seeing few black clouds in the distance…

@MikeB_MT I associate hope with another “h” word, humanity. I’m comforted by the humanity, grace, and joy I see and experience in the world. This gives me hope and comforts me.

Q4. What are the dangers of hopelessness?

@HloniphileDlam7 Failure to try. Being dead while alive.

@Yolande_MT Hopelessness also points to a lack of purpose and meaning. Your days become endless, relentless deserts of nothing.

Q5. In your opinion, why is too much hope unhelpful?

@lg217 Too much hope is unhelpful because then you believe that in time everything will be ok and feel that you don’t have to do anything and just let time pass by. The problem with that is you could be waiting a very long time and as a result, your life will pass you by.

@hopegovind Too much hope makes you dependent on things. It will not force you to do your duty.

Q6. Why shouldn’t you give someone false hope? Or is it sometimes justified?

@ColfaxInsurance False hope is kind of like lying. There are situations where telling someone the truth (no matter how painful it could be) is better than trying to give them hope for something unrealistic or too out of reach

@MarkC_Avgi Giving someone false hope, particularly in you or what you may do for them, is almost being deceptive, particularly if you know that their hope is them counting on something to happen, when it actually may not.

Q7. Which people, places, or things give you hope? Why?

@Midgie_MT People who give me hope are those friends who have had their challenges and come through them. Places are when I swim in the sea because afterwards I have the feeling that everything is all right in the world!

@SoniaH_MT Watching children ages 2-8 interact purely with each other without toxic, preconceived notions gives me a regular reminder that there’s hope for the world.

Q8. What has made a difference for you: feeling hope, or taking action because of it?

@Yolande_MT Taking action because I have hope. However, sometimes I find/ get/ gain hope because I took action. Chicken or egg much?

@JKatzaman Hope without action is a spectator sport.

Q9. How does sharing your hopes with others help build relationships?

@MindfulLifeWork Sharing our hopes makes them social and relational, and doing so is an act of courage, of vulnerability. This creates bridges to others, but also a bridge to ourselves regarding our accountability to our own dreams. Build lots of bridges!

@llake There’s a community in collective hope. Also, what you hope for may not be the right thing in the perspective of what someone else needs.

Q10. How might you help yourself or others reframe a situation to have hope?

@Dwyka_Consult Be open-minded, “open-hearted” and present. Give the gift of acceptance. Ask gentle questions.

@SarahH_MT Bringing positivity to the relationship can in and of itself make other people feel more hopeful. Helping people put their thoughts into perspective, asking them what they are hopeful about and thinking about tangible actions can all help.

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat over here.

Coming Up

Have you ever been unhappy at work and hoped that things would get better? Our next chat is about fitting in vs. belonging. In our Twitter poll this week, we’d like to know how you feel about fitting in or belonging in your current workplace.

Resources

Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.

The ABC Model

Self-Discipline

Top 10 Personal Morale Boosters

Managing Post-Traumatic Growth

Gable’s Four Responses to Good News

Managing Your Career

Dweck’s Fixed and Growth Mindsets

Optimism

Rethinking Positive Thinking

Ben-Shahar’s Happiness Model

Intentional Change Theory

The post Having Hope: Motivator, Comfort or a Curse? – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.

Growing up, I loved reading. Getting lost in the world of Harry Potter remains one of my favorite childhood memories and I still remember staying up beyond my bedtime trying to finish “The Goblet of Fire.”

Embracing World Book Day 

World Book Day (WBD) was established by UNESCO in 1995 and takes place every year on 23 April. WBD is a registered charity that aims to promote reading and provide books for children. According to WBD, “Reading for pleasure is the single biggest indicator of a child’s future success.” And the mission of the charity is to, “Give every child and young person the opportunity to have a book of their own.”

Still remembering my school World Book Day shows the impact the charity had on me, and my love of reading didn’t waver as I grew up. As I left Winnie-the-Pooh and Harry Potter behind, other books have appeared on my bookshelf.

One that has particularly helped me in my working life is Thomas Erikson’s “Surrounded by Idiots.”  Someone recommended the book to me while on a management training course and it has done a lot to shape my understanding of my own behavior as well as those around me. 

Surrounded by Idiots

In the bestselling book, Erikson explains how there are four main behavior types. These types define how we perceive and interact with the people around us. These behavior types are categorized by different colors in an easy-to-understand way.

• Reds – are ambitious, strong-willed, and results-oriented.
• Yellows – are talkative, creative, and expressive.
• Greens – are loyal, modest, and considerate.
• Blues – are systematic, logical, and reserved.

Of course, none of us sits entirely within each of these categories. Our personalities are made up of a mix of these traits. However, the book helps you to understand where you, and your colleagues, predominantly sit within the categories. And it recommends methods for communication between you.

The book isn’t just for managers. It’s great for anyone that works as part of a team – and I’d highly recommend picking up a copy!

What Books Have Shaped Your Career?

We asked our followers on social media what books have shaped their careers, and we got some great responses. 

On Twitter, Debbie Denyer told us that “Time to Think: Listening to Ignite the Human Mind” by Nancy Kline has changed the course of her career. It’s a book about the power of listening, and how it can transform team management. Debbie said, “As a coach, it’s shown me the value of listening and giving people the space and time to think.” 

Jeremy Stephens told us how Dr Bruce Weinstein’s “Ethical Intelligence” prompted him to go back to school to start his MA in Philosophy. It’s a book that argues for the importance of “ethical smarts” in a world where ethics in the workplace is undervalued.

Jeremy also mentioned that he’s sharing the love by giving his peers Erik Palmer’s “Own Any Occasion” for their birthdays – an 11-step guide to great public speaking.

In our Career Community Facebook group, Bijal Bhagwan opted for “The 1-minute Manager” by Ken Blanchard. This management classic from the 1980s was updated and re-released in 2016. It promises three “one-minute secrets” that will transform your management style for the better.

And on Instagram, Mehdi Ashtari couldn’t choose just one. But at the top of the list right now is Simon Sinek’s evergreen “Start With Why” – a book that challenges us to find our “why” and explores the power it can have on both individuals and organizations alike.

Books the Mind Tools Team Love

Mind Tools’ head Coach, Yolande, told me she has a mile-long list of books that have shaped her career. But she chose “QBQ: The Question Behind the Questions,” by John G. Miller, and “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” by Stephen R. Covey, as standouts. Yolande pondered, “… what a parallel study of my life/career would have looked like without these two books.” 

Mind Tools writer Jonathan Hancock shared his love of Simon Singh’s best-seller “Fermat’s Last Theorem.” What makes it so special? “It’s about intellectual curiosity, ambitious learning, and both personal and professional resilience,” said Jonathan. “It’s beautifully written, and taught me a lot about making complex topics accessible, relatable – even exciting!”

Head over to the Mind Tools Store to view our collection of ebooks. The hand-chosen selection is designed to help you to develop your career skills, to become a better leader and team member. Just download them onto your device and learn whenever and wherever you like!

Books have the power to change our lives and inform how we work. What books have shaped your career? Comment below!

The post What Books Have Shaped Your Career? appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.